Do you ever feel like you’re losing your shit? Since Monday, I’ve misplaced my debit card, sunglasses, Parisian watch, and favorite truckers cap  (actually the replacement hat since the first one was swallowed by the Colorado River while attempting to SUP down the Grand Canyon last September). The good news is that in my search, I uncover $48 in cash from an old travel purse! I take the finder’s reward and walk down to the local coffee shop to buy some caffeine and perspective, all which seem to be flowing this morning.

While waiting for my 12-ounce Guatemalan pour-over, I bump into my most recent Madison hairdresser, Lydia, and then my very first, Jason.  I met Jason in 2009 at the old Cha Cha Salon during my first year of grad school and after my first heartbreak. I needed a dramatic change and made the first attempt with a dark brown hair dye bottle purchased at Walgreens.  One bottle of cheap dye and a ruined towel later, I found myself staring at a reflection of Gloria from the Bronx—imagine nicotine-stained teeth, blood-red finger polish, and an attitude and accent as tough as nails.  Erm, not the look I was after. Jason helped me transform the oops into sexy punk by fading the black into crimson and straightening the curls. 

Ten years later,  Lydia and I sit at the counter over our steaming coffees, with my restored natural brown (and somewhat graying) curls and prescription spectacles (things they don’t tell you when you turn 40), discussing the nature of change and uncertainty.  It’s been ten years since I uprooted my life from Houston to Madison, and up until this point, I hadn’t looked back: Chapter Closed. When I arrived in Madison, everything changed, my quality of life and my attitude toward it.  I found a place where I felt free and at home, and most importantly, I took my destiny into my own hands.

I learned to give myself space to grow, fall on my face, and heal. Of course, not every day was a cake-walk, but I can say that I appreciated all the beauty, challenges, opportunity, friendships, love, and, yes, heartbreaks that came my way. Now another life chapter seems to be closing, an invitation to start a whole new book with it.

So I turn to Lydia and ask, “what do you think about bangs?”